Your costume suggestion
Your formal dinner jacket and tie is graced by the rather cumbersome crimson robe with white ermine trim you wear for special occasions. Rather messy grey hair tops your head, while your half-glasses balance precariously on your ruddy nose.
Being bestowed a Life Peerage during the Queen’s Birthday Honours list for outstanding achievement in the field of technological retail has always entitled you to draw ‘expenses’. You’d sign in at the House of Lords every day and then partake in a regular 18 holes at Wentworth. That was some twenty years ago now and most have all but forgotten what you actually received the honours for - selling nappies online and by mail order on a same day delivery basis. Now you tend to wear the Lord moniker a little more like it was a hereditary title.
INTRODUCE YOURSELF AT THE START OF THE GAME BY READING THIS
I am the Lord Gardiner of Tunbridge Wells, protector of the common people, House of Lords residing. Lord Heathcliff and I go way back, so I’ll miss beating him at golf every Friday afternoon. If I recall correctly I was applying hot wax seals to some official government documents at the time of the murder in Lord Heathcliff’s sauna room.